This is now my 3^rd time to London. I’ve already done majority on the tourist stuff. So what do you do when you on a budget, have 2 weeks to kill and don’t really want to do that much anyway. You drink and get fat. That’s what you do.

Lucky for me Angie and Andrew were not working either. So I took over their lounge and became their child. They housed me, the fed me and they entertained me. We drank and got fat together.

Angie decided to organise a pub crawl around Borough. Obviously we had to do a recce of the pubs beforehand, which obviously ended up with two drunk sisters at 4pm on a Tuesday.  This was my welcome back into the Western world.  The official pub crawl was also a great success. It’s always nice getting drunk with a crowd of people you actually know. Most memorable pub was definitely our last stop. Every creep in London (our party included) was having a jam. Have no idea what it’s called and I would never recommend anyone to go there anyway.

Get me another pint yo

Besides going to the pubs, I would have been content sitting on the couch drinking wine, eating chocolate and watching Teen Mom. But London decided to have really good weather (for London standard I guess) so I was forced out the house.

Day time adventures included a day trip to Brighton. It’s quite easy to summarise this trip:
Arrived.
Drank at pub on the beach.
Ate lunch at another pub on the beach.
Walked on pier and rode a rollercoaster.
Drank at another pub.
Left.

Get me another pint in Brighton yo

I also experienced Canterbury to visit Bronwyn. We went to a pub, what a surprise! This pub was also frequented by Canterbury’s finest tranny. She was extremely lady-like wearing stockings, a frock, a cardigan and some pearls. She was chatting up some lovely old men and I hope she got lucky. I wanted to take a picture of her but she didn’t seem as willing as the ladyboys in Thailand.

Bronwyn does her best tranny impersonation

Another day time adventure was to Greenwich. The market there has a very delish roast beef and potatoes takeaway dish that was perfect for my hangover. The actual Greenwich Meridian was a total fail. They want to charge you 8 quid to stand in the longest queue just to get a picture of the stupid line. I just stuck my face in the gate and figured that was good enough for a photo.

Can you see it? Can you see the line? Well...it's there.

After all these adventures in London I’m starting to feel like a bit of a local now. I can catch a bus by myself, I’ve shopped at ASDA and I’ve been at shouted at by a chav. But I could never be a real London local. Besides the chavs and banker wankers London is filled with ‘yummy mummy’s’. Jeepers, there are everywhere. You cant walk down Clapham High Street without knocking into a pram or a pregnant lady. I took 3 times to London for me to notice this. Something is in the London water and I’m staying the hell away from it.

So cheers London and all your pregger ladies, I’m off to South America for the next few months. Next stop, Peru!